Day 3

 With a bit of better sleep and a little less sun I would be on a blog a day. It doesn't fit the vibe right now, though. There's a lot going on! Carving out time from the kids just to type away on my mother's borrowed mac book takes away the whole purpose of the trip, so I'm consolidating the first two days and I'm back at it. *Note, Day 3 got a bit long so I'll cut it here. Hoping to catch up before I lose memories for day 4.

I wake up on day three at four in the morning. Normal enough, I suppose, for someone who's fifteen hours jetlagged and going to bed at eight at night. I dick around on my phone for a bit before deciding to keep myself active, so I go for a walk before the sun comes up. It's nice and quiet, warm but comfortable, and within half an hour I catch the sunrise on a sleepy street in Narrabri. The planned route I found on apple maps showed a nice roundabout that seemed to take about an hour to walk, but it took me fifteen minutes to walk less than a tenth of the distance, humbling my ability to estimate distances in a foreign, massive country. Maybe on a bike and with better lighting. I'm still quite scared of the local wildlife tearing me to shreds, though the only animals I've seen so far have been cows, cockatoos, and my three nephews.

Jacki and I, mostly Jacki, get the boys ready to drop them off at school by 9am. The mornings are when the older boys are at their most docile. They watch a bit of tele (Television,) have some brekky (Froot Loops) and for a few minutes they ask to play some footy (American Football) outside (outdoors.) They keep pressing the ball against the floor like in rugby, which is cute and harmless but technically incorrect. My attempts to tell them about how to score a touchdown feel like a cruel joke - Why do you touch down on a try but not in a literal touchdown? I email the commissioner of the NFL a profane list of complaints before finishing up the game and joining Jacki on the drive to school. Then it's just the two of us and the smallest nephew, Lennox. We head to the cafe for a cookie and a coffee before gymnastics.

I got myself eggs benedict because I was hungry, because I recently stopped taking Vyvanse, because it became too expensive, because my health insurance changed but then I lost my health insurance, because I lost my job, because I got depressed and it affected my performance at work, because I was going through a divorce, because... of a lot of reasons.

"Whatcha thinking about?" says Jacki. 

"Run-on sentences" I prophesize. 

So I'm eating eggs benedict, and its good, because they poached the eggs perfectly and toasted the sourdough just right. I drink my long black (Black coffee) and chatted with my sister and felt a sense of excitement and peace over my upcoming time here. Forty days! That's a solid chunk of time. as I write this on day 5 (spoilers!) I'm enjoying a moment of solitude and relaxation, a necessary component of being an active, enjoyable fun uncle. It's important to take a beat to recharge, but I digress, we're up to the gym now.

Man, Lenny is a cute kid. Jacki opens up the gymnasium for a 45 minute, parentally guided free-for-all in an adorable, legitimately impressive room for kids to go nuts. Balance beams, ropes, an inflatable bouncy castle, trampolines, a ball pit - this is paradise for 2-4 year olds to spend their late mornings. I'm having a blast, too. Lenny and I have legitimately bonded in this time here. I think he has some memories of me from when they visited New York last summer, and he's begun saying hi to me on FaceTime in the last few months, but these first few days seemed to really cement our bond. We're buddies. I've locked it down. Three for three.

I get tired before the kids do. Maybe tired isn't the right word... fatigued? Small parts of my ankle and a crink in my upper thigh give the warning signs to chill out about 10 minutes before the time is up. I get some good pictures and have a smile on my face for nearly the entire time. I think I get about four more of these Mondays while I'm out here. Worth every penny ($0) 

We get on home and chill for a bit, and that's when I write the first blog. I'm proud of myself for being able to do so. The T.V was on with a show Jacki was into, and instead of retreating or requesting silence, I just wrote the thing and didn't mind the distraction. It didn't need to be that good, it just needed to be done. It's valuable to give grace about these things, nobody is paying for me to write this blog, virtually nobody will read it, it's just for posterity and to bolster the feeling of purpose surrounding a rare holiday. Anything is good, everything is valuable. The hard part is starting. No need to edit or revise or worry. Just show up my man!

Lenny wakes up and we have some lunch. I already forget the details - a reminder of why I need to stay on top of writing notes and documenting my times here. It's been two days, only! I don't really care that I forgot what I had for lunch.... oh yeah, cheese and crackers. Brilliant! Thank god the memory came flooding back to me, else I would have fallen into a pit of cyclical self-loathing and despair. But, not, I remembered. "Tasty" cheese and Ritz. We did it, folks. 

We pick the boys up from school shortly after and head to the pool. I enjoy the pool as much as any other adult - mostly for some sun, some cooling off, and to see the kids have a good time. I'm a bit too stressed to fully enjoy myself, though. Lenny is an insane person. His favorite move in the pool is to constantly submerge his head underwater and float into deeper sections, then flail for help when he's on the verge of drowning. Once he's serendipitously rescued, he spits out a mouthful the chlorine and piss backwash which permeates any public pool, smiles so wide you can hardly see the red in eyes, then dunks his head back into the water so quickly and intensely you would think he's withholding valuable information from himself. A true maniac. Jacki seems used to it. My cortisol spikes for nearly the entire time.

I get my pool time with the older boys before we all get out to eat some hot chips (french fries) with gravy. I take a beat to bring up something sensitive: "Do you boys have any questions about me and Auntie Ash's divorce?" Their parents went through it with them already a few weeks back, so it's not entirely surprising when they both reply "Nope!" without missing a beat on eating their chips. Callan does follow up with a completely strange question for a six year old, "Did she keep the ring?" Woof. "Yea bud, she did." He doesn't know why he asked, truthfully. I bet he picked it up from his parents. It's a question with no satisfying answer, isn't it? Uncomfortable. Worth moving on.

Kids are resilient, aren't they? It's an overused statement and a tacky maneuver to withdraw from touchy subjects, but when you see it first hand it's hard to disagree. Whether it's recovering from self-inflicted waterboarding or navigating the complicated emotions from losing an aunt to divorce, these kids are sturdy. They have great parents and grand parents. I think they have a cool uncle, too (James.)

We get back and I cook dinner for the adults - Steak with mushroom/onion gravy, string beans, and mashed potatoes ft. Brendon. I'm quite happy with how the steak was seasoned and it's final temperature, the string beans were poorly timed and barely came together into an edible form, albeit quite bland, and the mashed potatoes were done by B-dawg and were right in my flavor profile. The mushroom and onion gravy is, regrettably, over-peppered. I enjoy it but it's too peppery for Jacki. I hang my head in shame and do all the dishes. I aim to be a proper house guest while I'm here, at least on the days where my energy is up for the task. It's the least I can do!

After the older boys get ready for sleep I start on a book that I brought for my time here, Harry Potter Vol. 1. The boys both want a turn at reading it and I oblige, though it means we only get to page 4 before it gets too late to continue. It's a bit difficult for them at this age so we decide to keep it to just a few paragraphs. I say goodnight to the kids and head straight to bed, too tired for a shower. I head to sleep, satisfied then write my nightly email to Becca. It was a good one. My best writing yet. 

A nearly perfect day. 3/40.